As we ascend to the heights of the “new normal” in media, allow me to share with you my one desire: that my thoughts, words and opinions will be reviewed and “marked safe” by “independent fact checkers” and the beloved few who monitor “community standards”.
You see, I don’t trust myself, or you, to make judgments, discern facts and cull information (especially in present times of tumult and confusion). The less scary facts, the better. After witnessing take down after take down by Big Tech, nothing brings me more joy now than seeing false information taken away in a body bag, accompanied by the silent sirens of censorship. Go get’em comrades! I often wonder, why do people insist on violating their mysterious standards?
Besides, the Big Tech machine has proven itself to be as pure and neutral as the Swedish snow — if it does snow there. And what if someone posted that it doesn’t? See what I mean?
What about opposing views, you say?
Well, they’re like petting your cat in the wrong direction. It’s cruel and counterproductive. You stay along the grain and embrace the views that are embracing you! Those views love you! And you must love them in return. Understood?
And so, my friends, I will attend the virtual parade that will usher in the “new media normal”. It will be beautiful.
Approved Community Standards, like marionettes, will dance along the streets strewing candy and goodness. All the children will smile.
My neighbors, like dying windmills, will wave their arms slowly as the floats pass them by — each one 6 thousand feet apart. It will be so safe having every idea and fact laundered and fitted, just for me.
Just for you.
Even though we wake up each morning in America, dissension in thought, word or deed must be banished to the gulags; or I should say, the Googleogs.
Godspeed, my friends. May the standards be with you.
Originally published on www.medium.com
Photo by Maria Krisanova on Unsplash
